It's true. Livi is almost three months old now, and with my ten year high school reunion rapidly approaching, I have to face how quickly the ticks on the clock have begun tocking. TEN YEARS! That seems like a lifetime, and such a short time, and yet when I think of all the things that have transpired since then, it seems like an eternity! In the last ten years, I have had and broken up with several boyfriends, attended and graduated from college, been in a sorority, met and married the love of my life. I have bought 2 houses and sold one. My parents have divorced and both remarried. I have given birth to three beautiful and healthy children. I have been overseas twice. I have taught school for four years at two different middle schools, and stayed at home for four years to raise my kids. I have supported my husband as he completed his MBA full-time at Wake Forest. I could go on and on, but that alone shows such a multitude of change in such a short time. Wow. I can't even imagine what the next ten years will bring.
The kids continue to amuse and fascinate me, Ryan, and each other. We have become SOOO busy lately with playdates and preschool and educational outings, that it seems we are barely home. Livi has settled into a nice routine, napping briefly in the morning, taking a LOOOONG afternoon nap, and then a quick evening snooze. She goes down for the night at about 9:00 which is a-okay with me, and sleeps well most nights, waking around 8-9 am. She smiles and is very social; always willing to give up sleep, food, pretty much anything for a chance to coo, smile, and talk. She is starting to play peekaboo which thrills the boys to no end, as they can see her interacting and reacting to them and their ploys for her attention. She still likes to be swaddled to sleep and requires motion (either being held or swinging) to fall and stay asleep. She toots like a truck driver, much to the delight of her brothers and the amusement of her parents! But despite that, she is a very sweet and pretty baby girl. I love dressing her in pink and putting delicate shoes on her. I can't wait until she has hair and I can start with the bows and barettes and hairstyles! She sleeps really well when I put on the light classical music channel, which has made me nostalgic for my own classical music performance era, and has set me about searching for a used piano to buy that I have no room for in my house.
I adore the kids and being a SAHM, but I catch myself daydreaming sometimes about what I might do when they are more independent. I'll be a concert flautist, or a pediatrician, or a very successful entrepreneur, or any number of unlikely things. It's like I'm still a child, waiting to see what I will be when I "grow up," despite knowing that I will never grow up! Some days as I look at my life, I am sure I will awaken, still a child in our old house in Hunting Hills with my mother's soft, cool hands smoothing my hair away from my forehead and tell her that I had a wonderful dream about being married and having kids. My life really couldn't be much better than it is, and yet it seems so unfair that you don't get multiple chances. Ooh, choose your own adventure and go back and see what happens if you go THAT way instead. I hope everyone wonders such things and I'm not the only dreamer.
Today we were next door at Tammy's for a birthday brunch for Carrie and once everyone else had left and the 4 boys were upstairs playing, I called for them to come down and put on shoes so we could leave. Jackson, Caden, and Connor appeared at the top of the stairs, but no Sam. "Where's Sam," I asked the boys. We don't know was the response. Tammy and I began a frantic search through the house and the yard, sure he was hurt or lost. We tried the bathroom door upstairs and found it locked. When we opened it, we found Sammy fast asleep on the bath mat on the floor. My kids NEVER sleep like that, and it's especially amazing because I found Jackson asleep on the floor of his room by the door the other night. I think he was trying to see under his door and watch for us, and fell asleep waiting.
I see signs of him growing up every day. The other day I lay with him in the toddler bed while he got ready for his nap. After he rubbed my face and played with my hair for a while and I fell asleep, he woke me up to say "Get out of my bed now, Mom. I want to look at stories." And just like that I was dismissed! Tomorrow will be our first attempt at him going into preschool alone, and I'm anxious to see how that will go. Perhaps the mommies are the ones that need/cling to the kids, and not vice versa.
Well, he's awake from his nap now and calling for me, so I had better go and gather him up. I do cherish the time I have alone with each child.
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