This morning was a whirlwind as I delivered the teacher gifts, ran errands, and had to be back at the school by 11 to help set up the cookies for the reception after the 3 year old Christmas concert. My friend Emily saved me a front row seat, and I got out my trusty camera and set Ryan on the job of camcording. For weeks Jack has been singing his little songs and doing the motions, sometimes for us and sometimes just when he's by himself. I wasn't really sure how he would do once he was in front of a crowd, but my fears were confirmed. He smiled shyly as he marched in with the others.
He didn't sing the first song, but dutifully rang his bells, and then when the applause began... he crumpled. At first you could see the tears welling up and his face beginning to struggle to maintain composure. I know that feeling SOOO well, having had it myself many times as a child. I have never been particularly shy, but when I get embarrassed, I can feel my face start to burn, and then the tears come. The more I try to push them away, or if anyone notices and tries to comfort me, I lose it completely. Apparently so does Jack. He tried to hide behind his friend Charlie, but then when Charlie hugged him, he was already too far gone. The teachers let him sit on their lap for the remainder of the program, and I cried too. Seeing him struggle in the limelight like that was so very hard for me. Harder than I expected. Whew, this parenting thing is so tough!