What you're doing now...

Jackson,
Right now you are fast asleep in your little toddler bed, covered with three blankets, and snuggled next to your lambie, your spideyfriend, and your bunny. I think your pacifier is probably still in your mouth because you haven't been asleep long, but it may be laying on the pillow next to you after falling out of your open mouth. You'll be giving up that pacifier soon and on one hand HURRAY! and on the other hand I'm still not ready. I feel about the pacifier much like I did about the potty training- I know it's time, but I'm not up to the challenge, and I'm not ready to see my baby growing up.
You are basically potty trained, and you did it yourself, on your own time schedule, and I adore you for it. I was dreading the potty training like I dreaded the sleep training when you were a newborn. I started devouring every resource possible on the topic both times, and discovered after many hours of research, discussion, and agonizing, that you were capable of doing it all by yourself. Again: HURRAY and SIGH.
You haven't had an accident since Saturday, even using the potty at the Children's museum, the mall, and school. You remembered to come back inside while playing yesterday afternoon in the backyard for the express purpose of using the potty. You come running to the potty with your pants already down to your ankles declaring "MOM, I need to poopoo in the potty!" I haven't had to remind you, or fight with you, or even make a big deal out of it. You get a sticker and a piece of candy corn each time you go, and the promise of Chuck E Cheese when you fill up your chart. It looks like we'll be going this week.
You are doing better and better at school, and almost seem to look forward to going. You made the cutest picture of a pig at school yesterday, and as I marvel at your art, your perfectionism, and your magnetic personality, I wonder what kind of man you will be someday. At the mall on Tuesday you were playing in the play area with Sam, Connor, and Caden when you discovered your friend Sydney from school was there. You immediately allowed her to begin playing with you and your group, and even defended her against another little boy trying to push her around. It made me both proud of your integrity and fearful for the future, when the boys aren't so little and the moms aren't around.
You do small things each day to prove how big you are becoming, like putting your own sippy cup lid on today while I was helping Sam use the potty, and getting toys for baby sister when she cries without anyone asking you to help.
I know you want to be a big kid more than anything else in the world, but in your rush to grow up, never forget that you'll always be my baby.

Sam,
My dear, sweet, challenging Sam. You are more intelligent than I ever imagined you would be, and I know your father and I are in for some interesting trials with you in the future. You can be the sweetest, most loving and snuggly two year old on earth one minute, and "poonking" baby sister on the head the next. Lately you refuse to listen to anyone, causing endless frustration for the rest of the family. You have a mind of your own, and are not dissuaded by pressure- peer or otherwise. It's funny though, the battles that you choose. You are not selfish, and never fuss or cry because you don't want to share a toy or a snack. However, you will fight to the death over a shirt you don't want to wear, or the threat of the dreaded footie pjs. At least 10 times a day you hear "SAM, oh Sam. WHY??? why would you DO that?" and you respond with a nearly automatic "I ont no. Sowwy mommy." and I melt into a thousand pieces and forgive again until you crush more crackers into the carpet or knock baby sister's pacifier out of her mouth. But other times you refuse to apologize, and make such an issue of it that you are repeatedly sent to time out until we bend ever so slightly your very strong will and you apologize; not because you're sorry, but because you want to be freed from time out.
You want to potty train like Jackson SO desperately, but I think your barely-two-year-old body just isn't ready, and you're taking it hard. You sit on the potty a million times a day, usually immediately after pooping in your pull-up, thus smearing poop all over the seat, your leg, and any other surface you come near. You declare that you pee peed in the potty about a million times a day, but when I check there is nothing there. You are doing a wonderful job for a two year old; you just don't realize it yet. And maybe you aren't the only one that needs that reminder. I love you so much and I adore smooshing those chubby cheeks and rubbing my hands on your soft and spiky hair. I love the way you rub your hand on my hand, or arm, or cheek or any other exposed skin while you relax with your bear and your paci. You, like Jackson, are fast asleep in your own toddler bed, snuggled up with your spidermonkey, your bear, and your paci, under the WHITE blanket, and not the blue one. You, along with your sibling and father, are the love of my life, and I so look forward to the memories we will make together.

Olivia,
My 8 month old princess; can that be right? Can you really be rounding the corner to your first birthday already? How can that be? It was just yesterday that I was complaining about being pregnant in the dead heat of a southern summer, and swearing that your father had better stay away from me for all the fall months in the future years.
And now you are crawling around the house in your own way, and finding all kinds of new and exciting things to explore. You babble all day, and almost seem to sing with your bubbly and happy disposition. You can be crying, and if someone looks your way and smiles, you turn that frown right upside-down and start to giggle.
You smile at your brothers and their silly antics all the time, and I think I can safely declare cheerios as your current favorite food, although banana chunks would have to be a very close second. You still nurse off and on throughout the day, and have settled into a very consistent nap schedule. You are a champ for going to bed at night, and sleep all night most nights, but nurse once at night maybe twice a week. You haven't met a baby food yet that you don't like, and continue to try each new food with gusto!
You are going through a slight mommy phase right now, and perhaps a little separation anxiety, but it's nothing out of the ordinary and to be honest, I have learned to like having a baby who wants me and only me. I have learned that you are only small for such a short time and I don't want to miss a second.
I hope you will continue to be as pleasant, smart, and easygoing as you are now (not to mention beautiful), and I am so looking forward to the future as your very fortunate mother. I love you baby girl.